This evening was one of those "hard" nights. I literally have to cook every night- no easy have the hubby grab and bring home meal, no "let's take a break and eat out nights". I was with a friend this evening and she was like "man I was busy today, so glad my hubby said he is bringing pizza and ice cream home tonight for fun!"
I was like (in my head) ' wow, that totally.......... (should have been) rocks for you!' instead it was 'wow, that totally sucks for me, I really don't want to cook dinner tonight, so tired from watching these kids and it is the weekend isn't it, right? Break anyone??
I mean... the hardest part is that I didn't choose this diet and lifestyle. Had I been one of those "I want to be so healthy and go on a special diet to be superwoman and rule the world" then it might be a lot easier even though hard at the same time.
Instead I find myself feeling sorry for me instead because I really wouldn't have given up certain foods otherwise. Yes I will give it up for the sake of my health because I really want to grow old and see my kids have kids... you know..... but this day to day stuff seems like forever.... of not eating... even though you have to eat. ........ ..... ... .. . . . . .
So then I came inside my house and chewed on some nuts and seeds and said "yum" *roll of the eyes - I've eaten so many of these things now.
Having hypoglycemia has proven to push these things even harder on me. Making these allergies stare me in the face sometimes because I have to eat something like every 2 hours. So that means more food, more cooking (believe me I eat a lot of leftovers all day long and it gets old)- if I didn't have to eat so often, I'd probably opt to live off of water and air- just to not think about food. Haha.
Nursing is also a challenge because I have to make sure I stay away from the allergy ridden food as to not pass antibodies to my baby.
That's another blister that came up tonight. I ate pineapple today. First time in who knows how long since it's been winter. Couple hours later I nurse baby, and about 15 minutes late he has bloodshot eyes and pink cheeks (my other boy and hubby get pink cheeks when they eat something they are food sensitive too). Oh brother, don't put pineapple on my list too. It's not so much the pineapple, it's more of an issue of just having another item put on there.
I am still trying to wrap my head around this whole allergy thing. My whole life I've never had "allergies" to anything (or so I never realized).
I ate anything I wanted. Didn't have reactions. In fact most all my family members have allergies in the warm weather to pollens and such. I glorified myself for missing out on such allergies and went about my busy ways. I didn't have allergies, i focused on life and all the things I love to do- food... who has time for food? Food is a waste of time. Just grab eat and go do your thing.
Now food has become the focus of my whole life. Motherhood already makes it hard to do the things you love to do, but then add food to the picture and it makes it quite unbearable sometimes. Because you HAVE to eat it to live. But having allergies like this, sure gives you a compassionate mind. You think of all the people out there who deal with trials that ensue their life everyday and we say "oh that's sad" go about our merry way and don't think twice about it sometimes.
Balance is now something I am trying to master. Balance will help me be calm, help me to survive.
Need to focus on the positive,........
I was like (in my head) ' wow, that totally.......... (should have been) rocks for you!' instead it was 'wow, that totally sucks for me, I really don't want to cook dinner tonight, so tired from watching these kids and it is the weekend isn't it, right? Break anyone??
I mean... the hardest part is that I didn't choose this diet and lifestyle. Had I been one of those "I want to be so healthy and go on a special diet to be superwoman and rule the world" then it might be a lot easier even though hard at the same time.
Instead I find myself feeling sorry for me instead because I really wouldn't have given up certain foods otherwise. Yes I will give it up for the sake of my health because I really want to grow old and see my kids have kids... you know..... but this day to day stuff seems like forever.... of not eating... even though you have to eat. ........ ..... ... .. . . . . .
So then I came inside my house and chewed on some nuts and seeds and said "yum" *roll of the eyes - I've eaten so many of these things now.
Having hypoglycemia has proven to push these things even harder on me. Making these allergies stare me in the face sometimes because I have to eat something like every 2 hours. So that means more food, more cooking (believe me I eat a lot of leftovers all day long and it gets old)- if I didn't have to eat so often, I'd probably opt to live off of water and air- just to not think about food. Haha.
Nursing is also a challenge because I have to make sure I stay away from the allergy ridden food as to not pass antibodies to my baby.
That's another blister that came up tonight. I ate pineapple today. First time in who knows how long since it's been winter. Couple hours later I nurse baby, and about 15 minutes late he has bloodshot eyes and pink cheeks (my other boy and hubby get pink cheeks when they eat something they are food sensitive too). Oh brother, don't put pineapple on my list too. It's not so much the pineapple, it's more of an issue of just having another item put on there.
I am still trying to wrap my head around this whole allergy thing. My whole life I've never had "allergies" to anything (or so I never realized).
I ate anything I wanted. Didn't have reactions. In fact most all my family members have allergies in the warm weather to pollens and such. I glorified myself for missing out on such allergies and went about my busy ways. I didn't have allergies, i focused on life and all the things I love to do- food... who has time for food? Food is a waste of time. Just grab eat and go do your thing.
Now food has become the focus of my whole life. Motherhood already makes it hard to do the things you love to do, but then add food to the picture and it makes it quite unbearable sometimes. Because you HAVE to eat it to live. But having allergies like this, sure gives you a compassionate mind. You think of all the people out there who deal with trials that ensue their life everyday and we say "oh that's sad" go about our merry way and don't think twice about it sometimes.
Balance is now something I am trying to master. Balance will help me be calm, help me to survive.
Need to focus on the positive,........
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